The responsibility of your own happiness.

It amazes me how many young people these days feel pressured to find ‘the one’ and ‘true love’ because society dictates that that is what will make you successful and happy. All these goals cause are unhappiness and pressure to meet people, when it is totally unnecessary to find someone else, we don’t need it.
I’ve been there with the whole ‘you’re the One’ and ‘pure love’ and it didn’t work out at all. In fact when it ended, I actually felt like less of a person because I no longer had him in my life at all. That kind of emotional dependence is frightening in hindsight, because throwing all of your happiness upon one person is a risky move- you never know when people will change their minds.
What I’m basically trying to say is that media and popular culture thrust this idea upon us through music, movies and articles that we should all be looking to find happiness in another person. As human beings we have a great skill that we are able to feel whatever ‘love’ is, but it isn’t an essential part to our identities. One thing that I’ve learnt is that people don’t need other people to rely on for happiness, if you manage to be happy in yourself as a single person then great, if you’re happy in a relationship then great, but don’t thrust your happiness upon another person as their responsibility.
Because at the end of the day, your own happiness is your own responsibility, and it shouldn’t stem totally from another person.
Be happy being you, people.
That is all.

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Why I have a problem with the meat-eaters hating this photograph.


This photograph of a rich family who have hunted an elephant whilst it is still eating appalls me, not only because an innocent creature was killed, but because of the reaction that it is getting. And I’ll tell you for why.

I am a vegetarian, because I am against the slaughtering of animals for meat. I don’t believe that they should need to be killed for us to gain the energy we need to survive. That’s just my personal opinion.

However, what shocks me and really gets on my nerves every single day, are people who will gladly sit back and munch into a chicken burger or a steak and judge other people for killing an animal, with a mouthful of chicken breast and mayonnaise oozing out of their mouth. I agree that killing an animal is unacceptable, but if killing an elephant is unacceptable- why on earth should killing a cow or a pig or a chicken be acceptable?

I’ve pondered over this question many times and had countless interesting and heated discussions with people about it, and I think I’ve come to this conclusion. People value the life of a ‘beautiful’ or ‘intelligent’ creature so much more than that of a ‘useless’ or ‘stupid’ one such as so called ‘livestock.’ People will look at the above photo and go: ‘Awww no, an elephant’s been killed by a horrible family.’ A horrible family? A family who are simply doing to the elephant what the abattoir did to your juicy chicken breast, that you are now eating? I’m not saying that killing that elephant was the right thing to do, but it certainly wasn’t any different to slaughtering a cow in terms of killing an innocent animal. Elephants are endangered yes, and I believe that all animals have a right to share this planet just as we do. I also appreciate that a cow isn’t endangered and probably isn’t considered as ‘valued’ to the world because it is common. This makes me laugh, as I wonder what would happen if we applied the same logic to humans… All animals should be appreciated and protected from slaughter, not just the rare ones!

If you’re so against this elephant being killed, why aren’t you against that pig being killed that was reared and then executed in order to become that pork chop that you tucked in to last week? There is no point in pretending to be against the killing of animals, when we as human beings are supporting their deaths by consuming meat every day. Just because an animal is ‘rare’ or ‘beautiful’, it does not mean that its life is anywhere near more important than that of another animal. Killing of all animals should stop. Full stop.

This links to the notion that our society seems to be under nowadays that ‘beauty is power’. If something is more beautiful, then instantly it is considered more valuable, purely for its aesthetic value. An example of this is the glossy magazine industry, that we pore over daily, which consist of superficial judgments of beauty. We look to the media nowadays to give us guidance on what it is to be ‘beautiful’, because we see celebrities commercially praised for their beauty, and we all crave this unattainable idealistic image of perfection. But that’s a bit off topic.

What I am trying to say is, that people need to actually ‘think outside the box’ and take a good look at themselves before judging this family for what they did. I do not agree with any animals being innocently killed, but I do find it amusing how people who eat meat judge this family so. People who buy meat from supermarkets to eat it believe that they take a very passive role in the slaughtering industry, when in fact it is quite the opposite. If you eat meat, in the act of doing so, you are agreeing to the ‘terms and conditions’ of what eating that meat symbolises. From the moment that succulent KFC chicken breast enters your system, you are agreeing with the fact that it was okay for an animal to die for that meaty taste. So don’t suddenly claim that you’re not okay with this elephant being shot, unless you’re prepared to actually respect animals and actually stop eating them. It is the most superficial thing in the world to get emotional arousal about a beautiful rare animal being needlessly killed, and yet feel no remorse for those turkeys that died for your Christmas dinner, purely because they aren’t as aesthetically pleasing or aren’t rare.

If two people were killed in a car crash, one was beautiful and one was what society deems as ‘a munter’, without a doubt the pathos would be directed towards the beautiful person, because they had some so-called ‘worth’ in society because of their appearance, and the less physically attractive person would not be as focused upon, irrespective of the fact that they also perished in a horrific accident. Can you not see how this is wrong?

The world would be a better place in so many ways if we all stopped rating beauty as a quality of worth.

I don’t have a problem with people eating meat. I just have a problem with people getting upset about something that they advocate in their daily diets through eating dead animals who were slaughtered, like this elephant that was shot. I don’t think that I’m better than anybody else on the planet in any way, but I think when it comes to my decision of being a vegetarian and respecting animals and getting upset about this photograph, I actually have a good reason to.

That is all.


10 Reasons Why I Will Continue to Give my Children Handheld Devices

Chop Wood, Carry Water

Image My children, both on handheld devices, learning and laughing.

Last week the Huffington Post ran this article titled 10 Reasons Why Handheld Devices Should be Banned for Children Under the Age of 12.

As an educator who advocates for the intentional and appropriate use of technology, I could go on about this forever. But instead I’m writing here as a mother.

Here are my 10 reasons why I will continue giving my children handheld devices, and all other forms of technology as well.

1) Because banning things never, ever, ever works. 

Remember when your parents wouldn’t let you watch rated R movies so you just went to your friends’ houses to watch them? I think I’d rather have my kids using technology and handheld devices with me beside them. Where I can engage with them, answer questions, and limit content if I have concerns.

2) Problem solving.

When my kids…

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Confused: How Sexual Orientation Is and Isn’t a Choice

So true.

The War on Loneliness

11queerbadge_400 Same-sex attraction certainly exists. And it’s probably biological. But, in some ways, the existential life of the individual queer person would be easier if it wasn’t a question of biology, because then it would just be a question of taste and could be interrogated as such. We have plenty of tools for analyzing questions of taste: straight men know exactly how to say that they prefer one kind of woman to another kind of woman, and, while we don’t think of those preferences as being biological (though they might be, to some extent), we accept them as real expressions of that man’s unique psyche. Perhaps what we’re looking for is a world where some men are just able to say, “Oh, I find other men–or this kind of man–to be aesthetically satisfying in such and such a way” without any question of biology entering into it.

That, though, is not…

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